Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Today

Today, I have so much to say, so many feeling to write, but i seem can't put into the words....

Today, I'm not supposed to wonder, I'm not supposed to wish, I'm sorry i cant help myself....

Today, I try to be as strong as i used to be, what it is....that is wrong....

Today, nothing is alright, nothing is ok, thinking of you all the time, all the things u say keep repeating in my head, doesn't mean i miss u, doesn't mean i love u, JUST......

Today, there is a sadness and emptiness going around me, sort of like i dont belong to anywhere, or where should i belong, or i choose not to belong....

Today, i feel like losing my emotions, cause I'm never as happy or sad or angry or hyper as i used to be, im just so blank, so vacant....

Today, everything is not as it seems, I don't need help, on no one I will lean. I stand alone in this world, I'm not trying to be mean, just learned a lot from what I have experienced and seen....


Today, I sit here and think about everything that happened this past few years and not a single tear runs down my cheek. Maybe its because I'm too numb to cry, or maybe I'm just start let go. Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that a day will come for what i hope.... but maybe, just maybe, I went wrong somewhere…. My only mistake was I'm too confidence in myself....

I don't understand why I feel all of the above. It is an annoying to all of u i know, but it often visiting mystery, it seem to occur with alot lately....

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